i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
