4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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