I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
