is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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