and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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