But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just google imaged poop.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
