Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
