That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
