how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
