I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
