She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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