I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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