If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
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I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
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Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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