it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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