I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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