This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
please come you make the beer taste better
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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