What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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