I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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