Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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