And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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