Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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