my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
