Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
