How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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