Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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