We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
