The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Watching her eat just hurts me
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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