um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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