I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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