I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
