So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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