i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
