We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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