Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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