he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I wear drunk well.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
