I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
