Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize