You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
