he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
