I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize