Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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