And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
