Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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