I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
