Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
