Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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