My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize