Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
