I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
