do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
