Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
