I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
