I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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