how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
