so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
