i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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