I just made out with a guy for $7.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Where is the hickey?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
