Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
This is classic penis vs brain.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
