I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
