Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
