I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
