does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
