hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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