isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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