Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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