community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
